Thursday, November 26, 2009

Food Stamps

M and I are at walmart after a long drive home from wyoming and we got our shiznit that we needed and went to the checkout. so whatevs right? nothing out of the ordinary. Well I'm standing by the register putting my wallet away and i'm listening to the girl in line after me.

now dont take the following description as me being judgemental, its just me giving you a visual. She is really tall, medium weight for a tall girl, black hair, monroe piercing, skater shoes, low cut shirt with boobies hanging out, LOOTS of black eyeliner, and lots of foundation make-up. She is with two dudes: one dressed normal and one with a flat cap on, turned to the side of course, a gianormous hickie on the front left of his neck, baggy pants, a wife beater under a zip up hoodie that was, yes, unzipped. you get the picture.

well, as i'm standing there putting my wallet away, i hear her ask the cashier for a pack of cigs. one of the dudes with her says, "you can't put that on the food stamps card."

She replies, "no i'll just slide the food stamps card for the other stuff."

I literally stopped for a second and stared. Here's what was going through my head. We have a girl spending all her money on lots of eyeliner, piercings, foundation, and cigarettes, and she is using FOOD STAMPS. like seriously. I'm not down with this situation at all. I'm scrounging for money to go buy stuff to eat for breakfast, and she has a f***ing food stamps card but spends her own money on CIGARETTES. really. this is an issue.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Picking up Chris and Tracy from the airport

I was pretty sure i could do it. i mean, it's not THAT hard. I left in time to go down and park in the parking garage. I go to the parking garage and park. I look around and it's all pretty much really nice cars around me... Then it made sense why the sign in front of me said "Hertz 46." They were all rentals. I back out, and go ask the dude how the crap i get into the civilian parking garage becuase i just want to pick up my cousin and his girlfriend who are in the navy. he tells me with his indian accent "go out and pollow de exit sign and go lebt. den curb back around and go back in to da lebt."

....ok thanks. so i do just that. aaaaaand ended up in the same spot. so i end up going out AGAIN and parking in the economy parking lot. i walk in following the "Walkway to Terminals" sign, and meet up with Chris and Tracy. We grab their bags and head out to the parking lot... i thought. After walking the perimeter or the airport, i realized i had no idea where my car went. We ended up jumping one barrier and another fence and i finally found my car. but that's not all. we were driving home and chris was so into my pod and my system that he forgot to tell me where to exit. we ended up exiting off I-80 east and driving in some dirt road in some city. Well we finally made it home and I ended up having to call matt once i left to navigate me back home.

I called him and he was like "ok, now tell me what street you're on and what direction you're heading.

D: "I'm on 5400 West going east."

M: "doniell east/west streets go north and south..."

D: "WELL. F. idk where the crap i am."

so we go through this whole run around somehow i missed Bangerter, Redwood Road, and I-215. finally he navigates me back to I-15 where i head home.

It's my fever....

D: "How do you drive from Alaska?"

M: "Canada."

D: "It's attached?!"

___________________________________________ - - - -

M: "And maybe while we're there we can get some dill pickle ice cream too. hahaha"

D: "no that will probably hurt my throat more."

M: ??? yeah...

__________________________________________ - - - -

Friday, November 6, 2009


throughout the course of my first semester at college, my eyes have been opened to many realizations, whether they are fascinating, heartbreaking, inspiring, or painful. its hard for me to sometimes keep myself motivated to do what my heart feels like i need to do.

the world is headed in a direction where women are supposed to be advancing to where men were. Women are supposed to be included with the current leaders of the world, but it is very clear to me, now, why there are so few women in positions that are dominated by men. its becuase as soon as men see a woman advancing, they feel intimated and imposed upon. Men will do anything to keep themselves looking powerful. There are very few who respect the potential and success of others. Men will [un-knowingly] be harder/unfair to a woman on the rise to protect themselves from falling out of the lime light. and it's not just men that behave this way when someone new steps in. women also become very defensive when faced with a similiar situation.

i did not realize just how frequent these tendencies have become until, over the last few weeks, i have experienced them first hand. since the beginning of october, i have been striving to become a member of a certain organization which requires tremendous strength, potential, and determination. i am the only female currently striving for this position, and, at first, i didn't think it would make a difference. since then, i have been yelled at, singled out, unnecessarily pressured, and not pressured when necessary. I try to take all these things as a growing experience, but its hard when the mood never changes. I question why particular people say, do, and think the things they do about me, and why they do not treat the men who are equal to me the same way. the things i have been through as of late have made me feel smaller and smaller. i am having new negative experiences more frequently as i become better. i am not sure if they are pushing me to become better, or trying to stop my progression towards greatness.

i do not wish to be an esteemed leader becuase of power, money, and/or fame. i simply wish to become the best person that i can be, and it seems to me that this is threatening to certain people right now. tonight, i was singled out and forced to do something against my will. I am not sure if this person was pushing me to be better, or pushing me to fall back, but its hard to convince myself to keep pushing, when others want me in the opposite direction.

as of right now, i feel very down on myself. my efforts are either not appreciated or not recognized.

or maybe i am just wrapped in self pity.

we'll see what happens and where i decide to go.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

I'm pretty cool.

to m: "yeah i need to go to walmart cuz i dont have any toast for my cereal."

m: ".....oh cool."

Sunday, October 11, 2009

d: he looks like an albino bear.

m: a polar bear?

d: oh. yeah. those.

Monday, September 28, 2009

duuuuummbb as a rock.

i find it hilarious that one of my roommates read my blog and thinks she knows what she's reading. in earlier posts, i stated that "we have broken fibulas and STDs to deal with." turns out one particular person took it literally and got all freaked out that she was going to get an STD from my boyfriend. I will just let her run with this one. In fact, i'm now infected, she's probably infected becuase he rubbed his STD ridden genitals all over the sinks in both bathrooms. And when I was showering, now that i'm infected because he and i have so much sex, i accidentally let the water hit my genitals and now the shower has STD all over it. so. shit i guess. these STDs are getting way out of control and the government should probably include this information in the 2010 census and lock up all the people that have STDs so the perfect, clean, angelic world on the outside can't be infected. :)

also. here come the devil child posters.

dragon is on FIRE.

Monday, September 21, 2009


is pretty awesome. in fact, i'm typing this blog post from linux. my desktop is all linux minty and so is my screen saver and stuff and so yeah. i'm going to try to triple boot my computer. becuase why? idk it's fun. what's the point? there is none. it's just fun. oK??? and also. I missed PT again this morning. I'm really having issues.

I'm straight up broke. People keep offering me loans but I will only accept one from a bank. and so far no banking institution has offered me a loan. I am debating whether to sell my sound system or not. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it driving away in someone else's car. but i need the money. I think i could only get like 350 out of it but thats still a month's rent right there. but here's the ultimate question: is a month's rent worth parting with my two beautiful subwoofers? i'm receiving a no.

I've applied at a few other places for a job and we'll see what happens, but if plans to move into a different establishment with different persons next year are going to be set into stone, then i really need to have a better income. especially if i want to have hermit crabs (ashley and gunther will be their names) and a puppy and a kitten and fish. and a vaccuum. unfortunately, logan isn't much of a market for prostitution.

last item of business, i'm coloring my hair back to my natural brownish black color due to the cost of maintaining other colors that aren't natural. :(

aaand linux is still cool.
and M too.
and E of course.
dragon out.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

The Air Force.

Is dope.

I got yelled at today and it was fantastic. I was two minutes late so I had to drop down and do 15 pushups. and then later in the class we were too comfortable standing at attention so we had to do 15 more push ups. its pretty legit.

k bye.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

me and the E hate college cuz its full of bollege.

i think that title very well speaks for itself. the only good thing that college has brought me so far is M and also the Air Force.

the AF is dooooooope for sure. but aanyway. so turns out both elizabeth and i can't stand college very well at all. i guess that's an issue seeing as it's kind of important to get a degree. We both tend to just sleep through classes [of no importance anyway] and not do the homework and be depressed and very UNmotivated.

I, however, realized that the explanation for my lack of motivation as of late was due to my diet. Every since M, I have become a member of what we like to call, The Cool Fat Kids Club. (side note: it was the Fat Kids' Club but it had to be changed due to Sloth becoming a member. and we don't like sloth. so we excommunicated ourselves, and made The Cool Fat Kids Club.) But so i have been eating reeeaally bad food at an obscene rate. Well, I turned into a super duper biznitch all of a sudden and it made M second guess some things i'm sure. That's when i realized i needed to not be that way anymore.

Diet changed. Exersice back on schedule. But now we have broken fibulas and STD's to deal with. so. i am doing all i can to try and keep myself motivated to do my school work and to also try and think of new, creative ways to make M not be miserable.

Elizabeth, on the other hand. is keeping herself happy by cutting her hair for free due to her new job as a nanny for her hairdresser. dude. my skin MAY be a tiny bit green because my hair hasn't been done in a few MONTHS. which is quite hard on me. haha.

The Shack isn't cutting it paycheck wise. If it weren't for my dad, rent would not be paid for the month of October. But the month of November is still looming in the air. At 10 hours a week, i seem to be slowly sinking into the pit of financial nothingness. which is also very unusual for me, making it hard to grasp. or accept, rather. I'm trying to get a 2nd job, but leaving certain objects of affection (ie: my shrimp and stuffffffffffff) would be a difficult issue to deal with every weekend if i go back to the OMX. I had an interview at Maurice's the other day, but she said she is doing 2nd interviews next week, and I just don't know if I can wait that long for the money.

Student loans are an option, but i already have a loan out on my car, and I am trying to get through college debt free. (too bad i can't run as fast as d. lang and just be on full-ride even if i dont have too much of a brain.)

other than that, life is good. I am headed back on my "think positive" track, because when i was consistently "thinking positive," i was always happy. and happy moja is what we like to see. Right, Elizabeth? that's what i thought.

here's a picture in the mean time.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

the shack. love it. and possibly him....??

so. i work at the shack as we all know. things are pretty good except for the hours. but that's ok. le garçon à la SHACK a mon coeur. need i say more? i think not.

send a text message for more info.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Class fees

So i just spent 80 bucks on freakin tickets for my stupid creative arts class. we have to go to the theatre and watch plays, which i love doing, but not when i have to buy all of them myself. good lord.

one thing i do love, however, is getting up at 5 30 and getting to the school by 0550 to go workout with the cadets. and i'm not even being sarcastic. i honestly had a ton of fun this morning.

also, i hope to be starting my hip hop dance class this wednesday. DOOPPPE!!!!

Saturday, August 29, 2009

ok new update YEAH. somebody say "yeaaaah"

newest update:

Last night i was feeling super super sick cuz of the stupid chinese food at the mall where i work. so
B dawg and i almost didn't hang out. but then he texted me and asked if he could come see me and i was just like "whatevs yo i'm still sick but it's all dope" or something like that that was ballin and chill.

he comes over. we watch miss congeniality and it was fun.

next item of business:

i went to a meeting for The SHACK today and my hell some of the other SHACK people are really weird. So. That was a good way to put me on edge this morning. Granted, i learned a ton and am really glad i went but this one dude like would not shut up! we were talking about how we were in college and stuff and he just kept going "ah yeah yeah i remember that. you just have to keep pushin through. just keep pushin through." and all this other bull shit that i've already been told 560 times. i was bugged for sure.

then i went and met up with elizabeth at gateway (OH MY GOD IT WAS SOOOOOOOO GOOD TO SEE YOU DUDE.) and we chatted it up cuz we tend to talk a lot. then we went back to her dad's apt. and i ate her cereal and cookies and then we slept. see bottom pic. (up)

then i went home and snagged a few things from my house and ran into my mom at the gas station so that was pretty convenient.

then i came home to logan and john took me out to a really nice steak and seafood restaurant and gave me all the leftovers. :) YES I LOVE MY STEP DAAAAAD!

then i came back, watched an hour of MTV and then my roommates and i went bowling. see pic at top. well i bowled a 59. my very last frame, i told my roommates that this next bowl was called "The MOJA." so i head up to the lane, begin to throw my ball and slip, ball flies out into lane, i fall, land on my stomach, do a full 180 IN the lane, look back, and there was my strike.

Friday, August 28, 2009

my nephew morgan is the least disappointing boy in my life right now.
i sincerely hope he doesn't grow up to be a womanizer.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

dope night. preeetttty dope night for SURE.

so i have this new friend, well ok like 80 new friends, but the one i'm referring to right now will be called "T." So T and I have astronomy class together. T decided not to buy a textbook. I decided i'm ok with him and I sharing :) aaanyway. not sayin i'm into him just yet but the dude is legit and he is a study buddy for a class that i personally find really boring. (side note: d. lang is in that class but won't talk to me for some reason because he finds it to be an "awkward situation." oh well i guess.)

SO. i head over to T's house to do some astronomical reading, and we did some very uninteresting reading. something about 9 trillion 460 billion kilometers away from the sun and something about supernovae and local solar neighborhood and raisin cake. yeah idk i learned a lot.

we head back over to my apartment and he chats it up with my roommate for a while, turns out they know eachother, and then leaves.

An hour later, J (my roommate), S (other roommate), and I leave for the "foam dance" up on campus. Well who do i run into? MY BEST FRIEND MATT and Devon and Alicia and Trevor and a girl I don't know. Me and Devon all grind up on eachother (even though i am not a fan of grinding so i just kinda bobbed up and down like yeeaaahh) and Matt and Alicia grinded (ground??) and so it was definitely a party.

THEN. i be a good little hostess and take the group of us back to my apartment and we all pop into the hot tub and pool and have fun. Devon i think just broke up with his gf like 2 weeks ago so he was bein nice and flirty. ;) not a problem there.

so we had an awesome time. In the hot tub i see people i already know and meet new people and turns out my tattoo is a hit. although, for some reason, people keep thinking its dragon. oh well i guess.

they just left. I'm sitting in bed typing this. Gotta get up for JCOMM tomorrow in which i get to see my zumiez dudes. so. DOPE. needless to say. tonight was pretty dope.

hey Elizabeth... i love you dude. you need to be up here because classes are so much fun and you actually want to do the work for them and becuase people up here are all so eager to meet everyone else. can't wait for the day when you and i are roomies yo.

volleyball? not so much.

So i just got back from playing volley ball in the sand with some dudes from my complex. well too bad i've completely lost my skill.

it all started with my roommate and me laying out in the sun by the pool. all the dudes left and one came back like 10 minutes later and asked if we wanted to play. i told him that i wasnt that good and he very reluctantly said, "thats ok..." haha so my roommate and i went on over to the pit and began playing. yeah. she's skilled. i'm not. whatever. suddenly, one of the dudes noticed my tattoo. well the best way to piss me off is to call my tattoo a dragon after i keep telling you that it's a phoenix bird. So they started calling us "team dragon." dope. ???????

finally it came time to peace out. well they were all sorts of into my roommate and got her number and all that and i was just standing by the side. looking silly with my fucking dragon. then one of the dudes was like "well phoenix it was nice to meet you." haha so i guess now they refer to me as "phoenix."

tonight i'm going to a "foam dance" which sounds pretty legit. but i have just been informed that there is dye in the foam which will stain your clothes. so. how am i supposed to look cute if i can't wear cute clothes.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

updated picture of me while not being soaked from the rain

Classes that i'm taking.

so my schedule is as follows:


  • PT work out with the cadets at 6 AM
  • Creative Arts in the auditorium with 200 other ppl
  • nothing for the rest of the day. niiiice
  • JCOMM 1500 with Zumiez dudes.
  • Astronomy with Devin (who idk what his deal is.) and with Tanner... dude for a future story who was told by my roommates boy toy that i am psycho.
  • same as monday only add my Aerospace Studies class after Creative Arts
  • Same as tuesday only add my Air Force leadership lab in the evening
  • same as monday.

these dudes are so weird. and i'm broke. and zumiez is dope.

so. today i went into The Shack, my new job up in Logan, and i took some clothes with me to get them approved by my boss so i could wear them to work. well. turns out, only 1 shirt and 1 pair of pants get approved. i'm screwed right? yes becuause i have zilch dollars till friday. So i head on over to Maurice's cuz my boss's wife works there. turns out she's dope. well we're running around finding all this stuff and i am like "wait. i only have freakin 20 bucks."

so i walk out of the store with one shirt. one. button up. black. shirt. thats it. so. until friday i will be wearing the same outfit to work. so. shit.

but. what store is across from the shack?? Zumiez. Who works at Zumiez? the dope dude from my JCOMM class. His name is B. And he also has this friend named C. So after i was at The Shack getting my clothes approved, i stopped into Zumiez and said "wut up" to my homie, B. Well, this dude decided that in Zumiez, they give people hugs. Haha so I'm all giving people hugs all up in Zumiez! DOPE! Well on my way out, B dawg said to stop in on my way out of the mall.

So i head over to Maurices... yada yada (read 3 paragraphs up) and then head back over to Zumiez to say "peace out" to B dawg. He's legit.

Well at this point, the other B is with me. So we're walking out of the mall and he like. idk. he's acting weird. Definitely not the same as the first time i had met him when me and elizabeth hung out at cold stone.

So we're walking out to my car and the dude like can't stop twitching. So i was like hmmmm. am i wearing pants? am i wearing a shirt? ok so i'm wearing both very conservative pants and a shirt, (believe it or not) yet the dude is still all twitchy. So we get out to my car and since he isn't saying anything, i go on this rant about how i just spent 25 bucks on one single black shirt. but the whole time i'm talking he wont quit moving. and........ yeah. not the same as i remember. so oh well i guess. pictures and words can be deceiving, and i should know by now to not say things until i'm absolutely positive about who i'm saying them to.

But i'm sitting her blogging this, its a few hours later, and B texts me and said he wanted to kiss me. well. we all know why i cant be kissed without permission. and also we all know that i dont like touchy feely canoodly bull shit. so i texted him back and said i'm glad he didn't, and now he's all hurt about it.


W and L are still buggin. I mean honestly they will NOT leave a sister alone. you'd think that if i dont text them for like 3 days they'd get the picture. apparantly not. W facebooks me today and says "um if you want space and i'm bugging you just let me know."

"well hello mr dumb shit, the fact that i haven't texted you back for a week should be hint enough that i dont want to talk to you ever again becuase you went off about your messed up past on our DATE." so W decides to text elizabeth and ask, "um what did i do to doniell?" gee i dont fucking know????!?!??!?!

and so then L texts me today and says, "um did i do something to upset you?"

???????????? my hell.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Caught in the Rain

so i decide to take my bike around campus and look for my classes before school starts. figured it would be a smart decision. it was until it started pouring and i decided to book it home. it was raining so hard my contacts kept getting filled with rain and i was then blinded. while riding my bike home. awesome tho.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Baaadddd Date.

So. Dude from Ogden, who we shall refer to as "L", came up to Logan and took me out on date. Dope! I mean he's a way nice dude, and I got free food from Olive Garden, so why not.

Well the date started out well. I wore this really cute little outfit and it was never awkward between the two of us. So dinner was good. We pretty much got our food immediately and it tasted FABULOUS. Then we somehow got on the subject of sex and why people do it and what it means to different people, etc. Then things got weird.

We left the restaurant and were going to go to a movie, but due the the odd sex talk, I didn't quite feel ok to go sit in a dark movie theatre with the dude. So I asked him that since he was so familiar with Logan and I was not, if he would show me the main places to be and hang out and all that. So we drove around and he was very nice and showed me the places yada yada. But then. You could tell he wanted to be, well, not in the car driving around..........
So I told him it was about time I head home for the night. When we got to my apartment, I made a really bad decision and invited him in. He went into my room and sat right down. Next thing I know he's telling me all about his "abusive childhood." He began with telling me how is best friend, Bean, is the "ying to his yang." He said the following, and I quote as directly as possible:

"When I was 10, my mom left my father and took me and my sister and brother to California. She married this guy who was really mean to us. They used to beat me. I have no scars. They were very smart about it, see. (long pause) They used a wooden paddle that had hearts engraved into it and the words "welcome." She hangs it on her door to this day. This is when my mental disorder began.

One day I decided to leave. I was 12. I told her I was leaving and called my dad and he was there within 9 hours. He went 800 miles in 9 hours.

When I got back home, my disorder was pretty developed. I was always angry, I threw things, yelled for no reason. So when I got back into school, I didn't talk to anyone. One day, in TLC class, a boy came and sat down right next to me. I felt honored because he was really popular and I wasn't. He was really into acting and art; I was really into computers and techincal things. I only knew how to see the world in black and white. As he and I became friends, he taught me how to see the world in color. I never make an important decision without him."

So blah blah basically that's it but this whole time I'm sitting there on my chair, texting my roommate asking if she's listening to this. People. Please realize that this is our FIRST. DATE. Needless to say, I will most definitely not be going out with L again.

A memo to all dudes who take girls out on dates: DO NOT talk, mention, whisper, text, breathe, swallow, write, cry, or even so much as HINT that you had an abusive child hood on the first date. Or the second. Or even the third. OR EVEN EVER. That is something that you do not discuss until after you are engaged. And maybe even not then. We don't care that you had a hard childhood. Becuase you know why? Everyone says that. If you are expecting our sympathy, do not bring up an abusive childhood. Maybe bring up how you didn't make your high school foot ball team, or maybe even how you got a bad score on a test. But NEVER. NEVER. tell me about your messed up past on the first date.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Remember that story about Otis and Me and E...

Remember how I wrote about when we went 4 wheeling in my old car, Otis?

A few days ago, E drives by the spot in which the 4 wheeling took place and turns out our tracks are still there. These would be them.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


I have white hair.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Meh this doesn't need a title. I think it can speak for itself.

E and I decided i'm turning into an owl. Then J and I decided I looked more like a gorilla. And E's outfit is just awesome.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Aliens Invading OfficeMax

(if you look really closely at the lady behind the red rack, you can see her blue face...)
Hooooly shi&. I don't even know where to start. I must first apologize for my typing being not grammatically correct and half the words spelled wrong becuase i'm typing to fast to get this all down that it'll prbly be all sloppy. so sorry.

Ok first things first. After i eat my wonderful pb&j sandwhich from j, i head over to customer service where e is standing. She is straightening some papers very very slowly when she (also very slowly) turns to me and says, "dude... that lady is blue."

So i turn around and look down the center aisle. sure enough!!! SHE'S BLUE!! LIKE A LEGIT BLUE! i immediatley start almost hyperventilating. there is a lady in OMX who is walking around and she has blue skin.!!!! Of course i hurry and snap a picture.

Next, luke is up there too and this man comes in. ok. this man definitly has something wrong with him. He has a FULL beard. like half way down his neck, has some weird gum disease in which he has no teeth whatsoever. and he smells SOOOO bad i literally had to hurry and walk away really fast to e. so luke is all weirded out so he sends the new guy, sam, to watch this newest weirdo addition to OMX to make sure he does'nt swipe some shi.

Meanwhile, a very elderly man walks in with who i'm guessing is his grandson. Now the grandson has carrot red hair and his doing that techno energy ball move and he's walking around OMX. at this point, me and e are totally bewildered trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Luke walks by and was like "i was gonna ask c. if WOW was down tonight becuase all the weirdo's are in here." HAHAH of course this makes me and e. bust up laughing. but it gets better.

So eventually the stinky gum disease man peaces out and the very elderly man and techno-energy-ball grandson come to the register. The man thanks us, tells e and me and we are excellent employees and walks out the first automatic door. before the door has a chance to close, the man walks back in. he comes to me and e at the register, sits down ON the register, and begins to tell us about how he used to work for the IRS and how its not personal anymore. me and e are used to odd costumers telling us stories, so we just sit htere and nod our heads and say, "oh really? wow, yeah. wow. yeah. great!" stuff like that. so finally he heads out the first door again.

BUT before it has a chance to close fully, he COMES BACK IN!! sits on the register again, and, while muching on a york patty, tells us how he once bought a bag of chocolate for a crossing gaurd who was nice to him. by now, me and e are shaking trying so hard not to laugh. my face was bright red from holding my breath and laughing inside, and e and i know that we can NOT look at eachother. so he finally leaves, and we both just start crying. like skip the whole laughing till you cry part, we just went straight to the crying. we were laughing SOOOOOO hard. it was nuts. so. that was our night. there's more, but e can post that.

Monday, March 2, 2009


sometimes doniell is like a stray cat, in that she shows up at my house late at night and i feed her and then she leaves. lucky for me, i like cats.
so tonight doniell comes over, and we're sitting in the kitchen discussing our current dating situations.

doniell says, "i'm usually so crazy with this sort of thing!"

"you're learning patience, man." i reply.

she starts making this weird movement with her arms.
"i'm weaving a basket!"

"did you just compare dating to basket weaving?"

this girl is wise beyond her years.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

uh, wow.

world of warcraft is probably, no definitely, the nerdiest thing a person can play.
but somehow doniell and i managed to find the two most hardcore world of warcraft players
ever to call our own. this is especially funny because the last thing you will find doniell or i
doing is playing any sort of video game. these facts resulted in the following conversation:

i think its so funnythey call it "wow"
yeah that is mega nerdy
hahahhhhahahhah i know. you and i are like high fashion ppl and they play wow
ahh that is great
sometimes opposites attract
i know. its totally legit.
boys get cranky when they play video games i've noticed
tom would be flat out mean when he played grand theft auto
and cory is actually not even talking to me cause he's playing world of warcraft

(and here is probably the best quote ever)
dude. wow. hahah!!! not wow as in world of warcraft but wow as in i'm astonished

Legit vs. Ultimate

Now. Recent conversations with a person we shall refer to as "J" have opened my eyes to how lingo evolves over time, and how some people just can't let old phrases go.
When do you use the right word? Well, there are times when "legit" will work (which is most of the time) and there are times when "ultimate" will work. (not super often.)
According to, the definition of the word "legitimate" is as follows: in accordance with the laws of reasoning; logically inferable; logical: a legitimate conclusion.
The definition of the word "ultimate": maximum; decisive; conclusive: the ultimate authority; the ultimate weapon.
The question is, however, in everyday conversation, which do you use? It really depends on the situation. If I were to say, "I have decided not to buy a brand new car just becuase the onbly reason I wanted it was becuase everyone else was buying one." Then the appropriate response would be: "That's legit." However, if I responded to that very same statement with a, "That's ultimate," that would NOT make ANY sense whatsoever.
Now when talking in terms of "greatest things ever," we may sometimes make use of the word "ultimate." But not very often. For example, if I were for some reason talking about vampires and I said, "Yeah a vampire with the powers to fly and go out in the sun and blah blah blah blah blah.......(pretend I just said all these great things about a vampire)" then it would only be legit for one to respond with a, "That would be the ultimate vampire!!''
But if you'll step back with me for a moment and reread the preceeding statement: then it would only be legit for one to respond with a, "That would be the ultimate vampire!!'' If you notice, I had to use the word "legit" to justify using the word "ultimate." This only goes to show that "legit" takes presidence over "ultimate."
I would like to thank J for J's eye opening conversations which have led me to my legit conclusion that "legit" is better than "ultimate."
I rest my case.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Warrant for my arrest?????

My mom calls me yesterday and says, "Doniell, you got a letter from the court..." well of course I have no idea what it's about so I'm like "eh ok whatever. I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything." So I get home, open the letter, and the first word I read is "delinquent." What the crap!!!??? As I read on further it says something about a warrant for arrest being released. So I call E. and tell her what I've just read. Now SHE'S all confused too. I have never been so puzzled in my life.

I hurry and call the Layton County Clerk's Office to find out what exactly is going on, and she tells me that I got a ticket on December 29 at some place in Layton in my Crown Vic. Well first of all, I sold Otis on the 19th of December, so it wasn't me. Second of all, I don't even know where that place in Layton is. Finally I realize what happened. The guy I sold the car to, my ex boss from OMX, didn't register the car. So he gets the ticket and lays it on me. Doesn't tell me. Doesn't pay it. Nothing. Well I figured I'd just call him and see what was going on. Guess what. The number is disconnected! Great.

I guess all I have to do is have proof that I sold the car, and I thought I did until I couldn't find the 2 copies of the title and bill of sale that I made. So on monday i'm going to the DMV to get some proof that it isn't mine.

Yeah. Pretty frustrating afternoon. Funny. But frustrating.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Digging Through the OMX Garbage

A lady calls officemax and Elizabeth answers the phone.

"Thanks for calling your Layton officemax this is Elizabeth how can I help you?"

"um hi yes I was just there and I think I left my son's prescription in the outside garbage can. I just really need it so can you go check if it's in there?"

"yes... one moment." (over the radio) "well guys, a lady needs me to go dig through the garbage can for her son's medicine so i'll uh, be out there if you need me. ha... eww"

doniell: "dude I got your back." (runs out to garbage can and digs. finds arby's bag and shopko bag. goes inside. gets on line 1)

"ok so I've got the two bags now what am I looking for?"

"um just a little white box"

"nope nothing here but some horsey sauce, a roast beef sandwich box, and some receipts. sorry mam."

"ok thanks."

e. "that's friendship right there."

no more effing wheat bread.

saturday night, doniell and i were grocery shopping. we were getting stuff to make quesidillas for some gentleman friends later that night. so we get to the tortillas and i suggest we get whole wheat cause they're healthier and taste better. but doniell insisted on a different kind because "dude, whole wheat makes people have to poop" so we get nasty little corn tortillas. no big deal.
our weekend came and went (and it was aaawesome!!). wednesday night rolls around and i went to visit doniell at work. i'm a great girlfriend.
i took her a pb&j but since i had nothing better to do and she was still hungry she sent me off to quizno's. i took an order for cory too who said he absolutely had to have whole wheat or he would get fat. there was a lot of whole wheat talk and i was a little bit confused. i forgot about the talk on saturday.

took doniell her sandwich, played around at work (in my gym shorts. what a sight.) and then left. probably ten minutes later i get a text from doniell.
to which i responded "oh crappers! i'm sorry"
"crappers is right!! don't you remember our talk on saturday?"
no, i really didn't. plus she's had a vicious sore throat lately so i've had explicit details as to what fuels the soreness. i assumed it was about that.
so i apologize again and that's the end of it.

until probably 12.30 this morning when i finally do remember our talk on saturday. and almost peed my pants.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

4-wheeling in my 1983 Crown Vic

So. I used to drive this 1983 Ford Crown Vic. Brown. Ugly. Dented. Ugly. Ballin. Whatever. Well one night, E. and I are driving around in my car and I decided I wanted to take it 4-wheeling. So, with E. sitting in the passenger seat, I found us a little patch of dirt and floored it. (well not a patch, but a LOT like an actual lot. like parking LOT, but just a dirt lot. I just didn't say "a little lot of dirt" cuz that sounds unlegit.) OK so i floored it. My car's front end swings all over the place. Elizabeth and I just bust up like a woman's shirt with too tight of buttons. We tried to get hard evidence of this event, however, with the flash on, E.'s camera only took a picture of her reflection of her taking the picture in the windshield. Anyway. By the time drove back over the curb to the actual road, Elizabeth and I were balling we were crying so hard.
Oh dear. I sure do miss Otis. Whatever happend to him/it? Well I sold him/it for $100 to my ex-boss from OMX.
Oh and one day, the windshield was frozen over, but I had to move my car out of this illegal parking spot. ( I had parked illegally becuase i couldn't see where I was going.) E. and I head out to the move the car (windshield still frozen; my defrost didn't work, mind you) and we had no other option than to stick our heads out the window. So here we are, one blonde in the driver's seat and a short haired chocolate in the passanger seat, driving down the road with our heads sticking out the window. And it's not as if we're able to breathe because it was so cold outside.
Well, we got the car parked legally and headed back up to French class looking like a banana creamy and a chocolate one.

and meet elizabeth!

soo i'm elizabeth. i'm kind of awkward and i really like pizza.
doniell is loud and outgoing and i just follow her around and make sure she stays out of trouble. usually she just gets me into it. somehow we make it work. we spend most of our time at office max. the smell is getting to me.
(have you ever been around so many office supplies for so long you can actually tell if they smell? it's not awesome.)

so. hello.

meet doniell.

So I'm Doniell. I drive us everywhere and it is in my past 4 cars that all of our adventures have taken place. My default outfit is my work uniform. I'm always in my OMX uniform. I'm also the more outgoing and less reserved one of the two of us. Elizabeth just likes cats.


so..this blog is to be dedicated to the adventures of Elizabeth (pronounced Ee-Liz-Uh-Beth) and Doniell (pronounced Dawn-Yell)...combining forces to become Eloniell!!
Get ready.